construction jokesQ: Why are brick walls very difficult to give directions to?

A: Because they always need re-pointing.

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construction jokes

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!"

"I see your eyes are working" replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "I see your ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the landlord, "sorry about that, its just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues every day for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus, aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous," says the circus ringleader, "get him to give me a call."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus" says the landlord. "The circus?" the duck enquires. "That's right." replies the landlord.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle and all the cages?" asks the duck. "Exactly!" says the landlord.

The duck looks confused. "What the fuck do they want with a plasterer?"

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(Got a joke you want to share? Send it in and we'll consider it for publication!)



Squeeze every penny of profit out of every job with CD Estimator,
the world's most comprehensive and affordable
construction cost estimating software



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