construction jokes

A construction worker comes home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man.

The construction worker puts the naked man in a headlock and growls, "Come on, asshole. You and I are gonna settle this like we do on the jobsite."

He drags the man out to the garage and puts his willy in a vise, securing it tightly and removing the handle.

The construction worker then picks up a hacksaw and starts walking menacingly towards the man, a huge evil grin on his face.

The man, terrified, screams, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you??!?"

With a wicked gleam in his eye, the construction worker puts the hacksaw in the man's hand.

"Nope," he whispers softly in the man's ear. "I'm going to set the garage on fire."

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construction jokes

Two blondes in a pickup truck drive into a lumberyard.

One of the men walks in the office and says, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk asks, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The blonde says, "I'll go check," and goes back to the truck.

He returns and says, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The blonde pauses for a minute and says, "I'd better go check."

After a while, the blonde returns to the office and says, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

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(Got a joke you want to share? Send it in and we'll consider it for publication!)



Squeeze every penny of profit out of every job with CD Estimator,
the world's most comprehensive and affordable
construction cost estimating software



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