construction jokes

A construction manager was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful prince." She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful prince, I will stay with you for one week." The construction manager took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a prince, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again the CM took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into her pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful prince, that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The CM replied, "Look, I'm a construction manager. I don't have time for a boyfriend. But a talking frog, well... that's just plain cool!"

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construction jokesDear Sirs,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information for line number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.

I am a construction worker and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of a new 80 foot radio tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in line number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh only 155 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in line number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower.

In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope.

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