construction jokes

A very large old building was being torn down in Chicago, to make room for a new skyscaper.

Due to its proximity to other buildings, it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft.

They decided that they should call the police.

When the police arrived, they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important!"

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more. They had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."

"Well," said the police, "it's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody important. In fact, he's famous for being undeafeated in his field."

"Who was it?" asked the eager construction workers.

"The 1962 National Hide-and-Seek Champion."

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construction jokes

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Smith.

The boss took an instant dislike to him and thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy bum!"

So he decides to set a test for Smith, hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and the boos would be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

So Smith says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three tall, leafy trees.

The boss says, "What the hell's that?" Smith says, "Tree 'n tree n' tree makes nine." Fair enough, says the boss.

Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Smith stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Dere ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Smith says, "Each tree's dirty now! So it's dirty tree, n' dirty tree n' dirty tree, dats 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to actually hire Smith, so he decides to up the ante. "Alright, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

Smith stares into space again, then he shouts, "Got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "Dere ya go sir, 100."

The boss looks at Smith' attempt and thinks 'Ha! got him this time.' Go on Smith, you must be mad if you think that represents a hundred."

Smith leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, see? So now ya gots dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, an' dirty tree an' a turd, which makes one hunnerd. When do I start me job?"

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(Got a joke you want to share? Send it in and we'll consider it for publication!)



Squeeze every penny of profit out of every job with CD Estimator,
the world's most comprehensive and affordable
construction cost estimating software



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